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Should Kids Follow in Our Founder Footsteps?
The Evolution of Entry Level Workers
Assume Everyone Will Leave in Year One
Stop Listening to Investors
Was Mortgaging My Life Worth it?
What's My Startup Worth in an Acquisition?
When Our Ambition is Our Enemy
Are Startups in a "Silent Recession"?
The 5 Types of Startup Funding
What Is Startup Funding?
Do Founders Deserve Their Profit?
Michelle Glauser on Diversity and Inclusion
The Utter STUPIDITY of "Risking it All"
Committees Are Where Progress Goes to Die
More Money (Really Means) More Problems
Why Most Founders Don't Get Rich
Investors will be Obsolete
Why is a Founder so Hard to Replace?
We Can't Grow by Saying "No"
Do People Really Want Me to Succeed?
Is the Problem the Player or the Coach?
Will Investors Bail Me Out?
The Value of Actually Getting Paid
Why do Founders Suck at Asking for Help?
Wait a Minute before Giving Away Equity
You Only Think You Work Hard
SMALL is the New Big — Embracing Efficiency in the Age of AI
The 9 Best Growth Agencies for Startups
This is BOOTSTRAPPED — 3 Strategies to Build Your Startup Without Funding
Never Share Your Net Worth
A Steady Hand in the Middle of the Storm
Risk it All vs Steady Paycheck
How About a Startup that Just Makes Money?
How to Recruit a Rockstar Advisor
Why Having Zero Experience is a Huge Asset
My Competitor Got Funded — Am I Screwed?
The Hidden Treasure of Failed Startups
If It Makes Money, It Makes Sense
Why do VCs Keep Giving Failed Founders Money?
$10K Per Month isn't Just Revenue — It's Life Support
The Ridiculous Spectrum of Investor Feedback
Startup CEOs Aren't Really CEOs
Series A, B, C, D, and E Funding: How It Works
Best Pitch Decks Ever: The Most Successful Fundraising Pitches You Need to Know
When to Raise Funds
Why Aren't Investors Responding to Me?
Should I Regret Not Raising Capital?
Unemployment Cases — Why I LOOOOOVE To Win Them So Much.
How Much to Pay Yourself
Heat-Seeking Missile: WePay’s Journey to Product-Market Fit — Interview with Rich Aberman, Co-Founder of Wepay
The R&D technique for startups: Rip off & Duplicate
Why Some Startups Win.
Chapter #1: First Steps To Validate Your Business Idea
Product Users, Not Ideas, Will Determine Your Startup’s Fate
Drop Your Free Tier
Your Advisors Are Probably Wrong
Growth Isn't Always Good
How to Shut Down Gracefully
How Does My Startup Get Acquired?
Can Entrepreneurship Be Taught?
How to Pick the Wrong Co-Founder
Staying Small While Going Big
Investors are NOT on Our Side of the Table
Who am I Really Competing Against?
Why Can't Founders Replace Themselves?
Actually, We Have Plenty of Time
Quitting vs Letting Go
How Startups Actually Get Bought
What if I'm Building the Wrong Product?
Are Founders Driven by Fear or Greed?
Why I'm Either Working or Feeling Guilty
Startup Financial Assumptions
Why Every Kid Should be a Startup Founder
We Only Have to be Right Once
If a Startup Sinks, Founders Go Down With it
Founder Success: We Need a Strict Definition of Personal Success
Is Quiet Quitting a Problem at Startup Companies?
Founder Exits are Hard Work and Good Fortune, Not "Good Luck"
Finalizing Startup Projections
All Founders are Beloved In Good Times
Our Startup Culture of Entitlement
The Bullshit Case for Raising Capital
How do We Manage Our Founder Flaws?
What If my plan for retirement is "never retire"?
Startup Failure is just One Chapter in Founder Life
6 Similarities between Startup Founders and Pro Athletes
All Founders Make Bad Decisions — and That's OK
Startup Board Negotiations: How do I tell the board I need a new deal?
Founder Sacrifice — At What Point Have I Gone Too Far?
Youth Entrepreneurship: Can Middle Schoolers be Founders?
Living the Founder Legend Isn't so Fun
Why Do VC Funded Startups Love "Fake Growth?"
How Should I Share My Wealth with Family?
How Many Deaths Can a Startup Survive?
This is Probably Your Last Success
Why Do We Still Have Full-Time Employees?
The Case Against Full Transparency
Should I Feel Guilty for Failing?
Always Take Money off the Table
Founder Impostor Syndrome Never Goes Away

The Toll of Everyone Around a Founder

Wil Schroter

The Toll of Everyone Around a Founder

We all know how much of a toll being a Founder takes on us, but what about everyone around us?

It'd be nice to think that our journey, and the personal hell that is trying to be a Founder overall is limited to just our own world, the reality is our world radiates out to everyone around us. Our long hours, intense stress, and sometimes total failure doesn't just blow up our world, it has a strong ripple effect on everyone around us.

Startups Aren't Exactly "Marriage Enhancers"

If you ever want to truly test your marriage (or any relationship for that matter), try running it through the grueling gauntlet that is a startup company. While it's hard enough to build a strong relationship, mixing in a giant dose of anxiety and uncertainty does not help — at all.

Our spouses always bear the brunt of that transformation in us, from the raging optimism we first displayed to the soul-crushing depression of what it means to trudge through a startup at times. While we get the benefit of "seeing the future" of what our startup might be, our spouses only get to see the shell of a human they once knew.

All of that anxiety that we build up from our own uncertainty easily spills over to debates and conflicts with our loved ones. While they want to help, they can also become the unwitting punching bags of our own emotions and frustrations. It'd be silly to think that all of the emotions that our startup creates simply go away when the day is done.

Our Children Can get Replaced by Our Startup

Unlike a more normal "9 to 5" where we can clock in and clock out, our startup doesn't really allow us to just turn it all off at any point. There's always 10x more to do than there are hours in the day, and the result of that is always us just working more hours to make up for it.

When we're single, or we don't have kids, those hours are mostly our own, so there's often very little cost to anyone else for that extra time spent. But when all of our hours are consumed at the expense of spending time with our kids, the stakes go up exponentially.

Every hour that gets consumed by our startups is an hour they don't get with their parent. That's an hour of their childhood that we don't get back. And let's be honest, it's typically not "a few hours," it's what can amount to years in the most extreme case. Those are years where we'll regret not having time with our kids, but it's the only childhood window they will ever have, and it'll be remembered with less of us.

Friendships, What Friendships?

Some of us don't have marriages or kids to worry about, but we still have friendships... right? Do you remember having friends, those people you used to hang out with on a regular basis, without having to schedule a time to see them? Those people who you could just talk to about nonsense because it was fun, not because it was an executive summary of your work life.

Our friends still love us (maybe), but they really don't get the fun version of us anymore, do they? Now what's left is the friend that never has time to get together, that can never be present when we're together and is clearly struggling in life. It's probably safe to say none of our existing friendships would have existed if we met those same people today (probably because we would have never left the house to begin with!)

We're still cashing the checks of goodwill with our friends that we built up over many years, but more importantly, we're not making any more deposits with them. The person they used to know is gone for now, and frankly, we're probably lucky that they are still willing to talk to us at all.

Compounding Effects

All of these costs compound over time. The less time we spend with the people around us, and the less of ourselves we have left to invest in them, the bigger the toll becomes to have us in their lives. As Founders, we need to step back and take stock of how much everyone around us is investing in the shell of who we used to be to show them that we're still that person and that we're a good return on their investment.

In Case You Missed It

What If The Founder's Personality Is A Startups Liability? During the early days of my first startup, I stumbled upon a huge liability that was killing us quickly — me.

The Cost of Toxic Employees (podcast) We all know the value of having a star player on our team. But what about the opposite? Wil and Ryan discuss how to identify and handle toxic teammates before their impact spreads across the organization.

Startup Culture is a Reflection of the Founder Everything you do has implications and if you let instigators of negativity be, you’re allowing a nasty culture to spread.

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Ihunanyachi Thompson

This is so true. The toll of starting and running a company isn't just on the founders but everyone around them. My tip is that you have a calendar to make you feel like you doing a 9-5 so you can have some time to rest your own body and also have time to get and give some love to your friends & family.

Replya year ago

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