Should Kids Follow in Our Founder Footsteps?

Just because our paths as Founders have served us well, it doesn't necessarily create that same path as anyone else.

Yesterday, on a beautiful evening, I was sharing an ice cream with my daughter outside, and I asked her, "So what are you thinking about for your first job?" Mind you, she's 12, but I figured it's not that far off.

Without hesitation, she responded, "Well, I think I could learn a lot from working somewhere else, but I really just want to work for myself." I'll point out that she's started two "startups" so far, so this isn't a new concept to her. While the Founder in me was beaming with pride in that answer, another voice in my head asked, "Should she?"

As parents, should we encourage our kids to follow in our Founder footsteps? My knee-jerk reaction as a hardcore Founder was of course "Yes!" which quickly morphed to "Maybe..." and ended with "I'm not so sure." Even I was surprised by how this wave of emotions crashed over me.

"Yes! You Should Totally Become a Founder!"

I'm a little biased, but I think everyone should pursue entrepreneurship as a way to discover what drives them, in the same way I think everyone should explore creativity to see what inspires them. Becoming a Founder completely changed my life trajectory at an epic level, by allowing me to explore my capabilities without restraint. Also, I was tragically unemployable.

I pictured my daughter coming home to show me her first prototype, telling me about her first sale, and sitting with me at the dinner table comparing term sheets from VC's. What an amazing feeling she would have knowing that she was building her future with her own hands.

I envisioned the life she would have, the possibilities this could open up for her at every possible level, financially, emotionally, and intellectually. In that moment I couldn't think of a single path she could possibly take that could outweigh the benefits of being a Founder. Did I mention I'm biased?

"Just Kidding, it's a Terrible Idea!"

All of that sounded awesome, until I thought "Wait, that's not exactly how it went for me. And now that I think about it, it doesn't really go like that for anyone else, either." Then I started to think about how many Founders I speak to in a given week that are on their last dollar. I think about how many holidays and weekends I had to forgo, how many relationships that died, and how much anxiety became hard-coded into my bones.

Then I started to wonder how much of her desire was reflected on seeing her old man succeed as an entrepreneur. By the time she was born things had already gone well for the Schroter household. She never got to see the years spent never coming home, or what it meant to go to the ATM and not be able to withdraw any money because you only had $16 in your account and it only dispensed 20's.

I look back on my own struggles and that of countless Founders that we help advise every day and think "What kind of psychopath would recommend that heartache to his own child?" Why would I recommend the only job that someone can work their entire lives for and never actually get paid? Things were looking bleak for my optimistic "go change the world" speech that I was hoping to give.

"Oh Wait, it Doesn't Matter What I Say"

But then a final thought settled on that was both horrifying and oozing with relief - "This isn't my decision, it's hers." As a parent it's difficult to realize that we spend so much time coaching and defending our children that we can easily forget that our job isn't to make decisions for them, it's to arm them to make great decisions for themselves.

I can't tell her she should become an entrepreneur - it's simply not my call. I also can't tell her not to do it (also not my call). But holy hell, it's damn near impossible just to sit there when the person that means the world to you is asking about a decision that also means the world to you and say - nothing.

Should my kids follow in my Founder footsteps? Selfishly, I would love that. I know at some level I could thumb the scale and even potentially make that happen. But I'm not going to. My journey is my own, and while it has worked well for me - it's not their journey and I have no right to make it so.

It's the same thing I tell Founders I advise "My job isn't to tell you what to do, it's to give you all the tools that I have learned so you can use them however you see fit." Man that's way easier to say when it's not your kid!

In Case You Missed It

What Should We Teach Kids About Startups? (podcast) As parents and potential parents, what should we be teaching kids about Startup companies? Tune in to learn what can be done to nurture the entrepreneurial spirit in children.

How to Mix a Family and a Startup Given that our time is so scarce, what can we do to be best prepared to be a good spouse and parent while also being the best Founder we can be?

How to Set Your Entrepreneurial Kids Up For Success If our kid is interested in launching their own business, there are three ways we can provide the support they need.