Where Were You When I Was Broke?

They say success has a million parents, and failure is an orphan.

But I ask — where were those “parents” when I was broke and had nothing?

Like, seriously, where were you?

Founders have a really bizarre path to success, which is largely defined by two ends - “I started with nothing” and “I’ve made a bunch of money!” (if all goes well).

Recently, we saw this with SpaceX’s massive trillion-dollar IPO, and of course, the trillion-dollar net worth of its Founder, Elon Musk. Everyone is coming out of the woodwork to weigh in on the company's success and its Founder, with a wide range of emotions and intentions.

For everyone else, it’s easy to support a Founder when they’ve had outsized success, but the real supporters were the ones who were standing by when the Founder had nothing.

The problem is, those people are few and far between.

It’s Lonely at the Bottom

So let’s start by rewinding way back, when we started with nothing and the only thing we could raise were serious doubts. Let’s face it — even we probably didn’t entirely believe in what we were doing, and how could we? We’re building a company that has never been built, by someone who’s never done it before, with a team we’ve never met in a market that doesn’t exist yet.

In Musk’s IPO-day speech to his staff and the rest of the world, he said, “hey look, even I only gave this company a 10% chance of succeeding!” That’s the sentiment of the richest Founder in history, so the rest of us can be excused if we’ve started with some seeds of doubt.

But see here’s the thing about starting off with doubt — it gives everyone the opening to doubt us, and by way of that, to probably be right. In 1994, when I was starting one of the first Web design agencies, every single person I talked to about it had some version of predicting my failure — even my guidance counselor! (C’mon lady, you couldn’t even fake it?!)

Those seeds of doubt typically don’t sprout into a giant garden of support. It’s a bunch of weeds of naysayers and know-it-alls trying to choke our little sprout from ever growing. The problem in the early days is that the people around us aren’t just lacking support; they are sometimes preventing us from being successful to begin with.

The Fair Weather Fans

At some point, through an insane amount of hard work, sacrifice, and sheer will, we finally see some daylight, and our startup starts to blossom

And that’s when the fans come out in full bloom.

It’s the people commenting on social media who “knew you could do it all along.” It’s the old friend asking you for money after they never once sought to help you when you were broke. It’s the family member who brags about you now, but when you had nothing, they never lifted a finger to help. (Uncle Eddie, there’s a reason you never saw me at family holidays — I was working!)

Or, in the worst possible situation, it’s the people who had zero contribution toward our success, and yet now have a giant opinion on how we should spend it. Where were these loud voices and with strong opinions when we actually needed them?
Dead silent.

The Bricks of the Foundation

There’s another side to this story, though — the bricks that helped lay our foundation.
It’s the family member who loaned us just enough money to get us started. It’s the spouse who had our back and propped us up when the whole world wanted to see us fail. It’s the co-worker who, when the going got tough, they got tougher and dug in with us.

Those are the only voices that matter now. Those are the people who have earned the right to tell us “they knew it all along” or, in the extreme, offer a fair criticism.
It’s those people to whom we owe our debts.

It’s those who backed us when the bet was greatest. When the upside wasn’t only unclear, but most likely awful. Those that were willing to bet on a scrappy, unproven Founder who just might change the world, or if not the whole world, at least their world.

Those are the folks that should never be forgotten. Yet in most cases, those tend to be the voices that never need to be heard, because their actions already represent their truest words.

Support is an Earned Right

Look, the admiration feels great. The high fives and public support don’t suck. This isn’t suggesting that all of those kind words should be met with a scowl - at all.
The problem is they all come at the end, after we’ve already run the race. It’s the equivalent of running a marathon with no one there at any point in the race but the finish line — only there to cheer winners.

So when the time comes that you’ve crossed that finish line, and be sure, fellow Founder, that no one wants to see you cross that line more than I do, don’t look forward to who’s hoisting you up on the podium.

Look backward at who got you there.

That’s the only person who’s earned your support.

In Case You Missed It

Why Most Founders Don't Get Rich

There are many common struggles of making money in the startup world and most of them are OUR fault.

What Happens After I've Made It? We always dream about our startups making it big. But what happens when they really do? What happens when all of the risks actually turn into the payouts we had always hoped for? Are we actually happier?

Founder Legends Are Less Fun When You Are Living Them Legendary Founder stories are great — unless you're the poor bastard who had to live through it.