Yup, it really is like a marriage.

My co-founder and I knew of each other for years before thinking about working together. And then we talked. A LOT. About every topic under the sun.

We made sure it was compatible before starting to work together. And having done so, we achieved more in six months than I had on my own for six years before. We're arriving at the end of the first year of our partnership now.

Having a partner you can trust to do tasks is amazing...for both sides. Generally, one does the sales and bizdev work, and the other focuses on operations. However, we find overlap all the time and attempts to restrict one partner to a single set of duties has not worked well. One of us does tend to lead in an area, though.

There have been times when we've stepped on each other's toes and annoyed one another, but communication is quick and I don't think either has stayed upset for more than a few hours. Usually it's an "Oops I forgot about that" kind of thing...or someone rushing to make a decision on an urgent need that needs a solution.

I know my co-founder will go through walls for me and I think he knows the same. I trust him completely as he has had many opportunities to fade or not follow through and yet has shown up every time. He lives 6 hours away from me and I have visited about every 4 months. We have taken prospective clients as well as prospective employees out to dinner on those occasions and increased the bonding that way. In-person visits for several days get you out of your comfort zone and routine and make change happen.

There's a theory about "strings" connecting you to another person. If there's only one or a few strings, like in a bad relationship or a new one, and something happens to cut one of them, it's a disaster. There isn't much to connect you.

But if you have many strings because of the talks and the understanding of the other's point of view and what you can expect--we know pretty much what the other will do--and frankly a little good shared suffering, then if an upset happens and one string is cut, it's not a big deal. There are hundreds more holding that relationship together.

A co-founder relationships is not a transactional one. It needs to be based on respect and value and trust or it won't last...and I guess that's why so many of them don't.